Neil and Becky Wedding

Tony and I were very fortunate to be able to attend the wedding of Neil and Becky in UK on October 1, 2011.    This is our short recount of the spectacular occasion.

Congratulations Becky and Neil!!

One of the first pictures we took was of Neil and Tony ~ putting up the decorations above the restrooms in the barn.  Tony had bought Neil the red pick-up truck that was used for the Men's room decoration.  Neil and Becky must have gone to weddings for years to get all the clever ideas they used at their wedding.  Inside the bathrooms, they put up pieces of wallpaper and left a felt tip pen inside.  Guests wrote Congratulation notes all over the wallpaper.

The next picture shows Neil in shorts on his wedding day by one of the VW Campervans he was using to transport guests.  The weather was in the 80s the whole week (the highest temperature ever recorded in this week in UK).

This picture is of Neil at the White Lion before the wedding.  This is also where the evening meal was held for a lot of the family and relatives on Friday evening.

Grandpa Tony is attempting to tie Abe's tie.

















First we were treated to champagne served on the platform before the train ride.

A picture of Neil (standing) on the train ride, Jonathan on the right.

Signs were placed on every seat before the wedding ceremony.

The Barbershop Quartet that entertained the crowed while Becky and Neil signed all the necessary papers.

Becky and Neil after they were married.

Place cards for seating arrangement for the meal ("Please be seeded" with a packet of seed inside).

The napkins at every place was a dish towel with "Becky and Neil, Tie the Knot" attached.

This straw with paper mustache attached was in the floral arrangements (in honor of Neil's mustache).  Kids had their pictures taken (Abe).

A picture of the banquet tables before everyone was seated.

Jonathan, the best man, giving his speech.  Speech is printed below.  Neil said in his speech that when he asked Becky to marry him she said "y (eh)", later she said "yes" ~ hence the huge "yes" decoration.  

A picture as a proud father with Neil.

A picture as a proud father with Jonathan (Rachel on the right).


The wedding was spectacular and guests danced the whole evening.


More pictures can be seen here on the Walmart site.  You need to sign up, but there is no charge.  Some of the photos are Jacqueline's.


You Tube Videos taken by Tony and Sharon
Barbershop Quartet
Steam Train
Wedding Ceremony
Wedding Guests
Posing for Pictures
Speeches and dancing

Not sure how long this link will work but here is the Rock N Roll Bride issue with Neil and Becky's wedding in it ~ November 14, 2011 issue

And Neil and Becky's website


Jonathan's speech ~ he was amazing with the delivery of this entertaining speech.  Tony was very impressed and so proud of the job that Jonathan did with the speech.


THE SPEECH

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls...What a wonderful day this is!!...No?  I’ve been waiting for this day for many years now…far too long.  Yes, at last I am contractually released from my obligations as prime guardian and carer for the person we have here.  I see some of you look confused!?  It is, indeed, quite complicated.  Let me begin.  Most of you know me as Jonathan, the brother of the gentleman here beside me.  This, however, is a lie I have been living for the last 39 years.  My real name is Operative Sig (puts on white coat), head of genetic research and social integration at MI5!  I’ll explain more.  
Here is a copy of the title page of our original contract, a bit worse for wear.  Remember, it’s nearly 40 years old.  Not a lot of people know this, but a major breakthrough in designer genetics occurred on the 16^th of September, 1972…the birth of the first creature of its kind, a sort of sedated monkey but with more or less human appearance (apart from a worrying pre-disposition towards voluminous facial hair).  The creature was codenamed a Neo Elementary Intelligent Life form or NEIL, for short.  The working title for the operatives in the field, however, was “Not Excessively Intelligent Life form”.  







Some blame a mix up with the test tubes and some bleach and motor oil...but the result was indeed a small blonde child with a cherub like face and a feisty temperament.  (baby picture) A small team of experts from the Singleton Corporation were given the job of “raising” the child to see if indeed it was possible for the creature to learn the ways of the human race and indeed act in a “normal way” for later integration into modern society.  We are lucky today to have all the original members of the elite squad entrusted with this difficult task. 

I believe the mother figure, code name SUSAN, is here?  Raise your hand please!  She was in charge of nappy changing, haircuts, and feeding.  

Also the father figure, code name TONY, was liaison with the higher authorities and in charge of power tools and driving skills...hand up please!  I can’t divulge their real identities at this time for fear of reprisals.  The rest of the boy’s education was down to me...make your own mind up if you think we were successful in our task or not.  Now as I look at your faces, I see that many of you seem to doubt the credibility of my discourse.  This I can understand.  It is a lot to take in.  So, here, I offer some of the scarce clues to the harsh reality and hard work involved in the NEIL project.

golf 

Inception, or to use the layman’s terms, “birth” of the child was shrouded in secrecy.  If you look up 16 September 1972 on Google, you will see that absolutely nothing of any interest whatsoever happened on that day.  No famous people, no political disasters, nothing...all we can find is that Manchester City beat Tottenham, 2 to 1.  FACT...clearly reading between the lines, this is a cover-up.  The records were whitewashed for security reasons, hiding one of the most important events of the 20^th century and the semi-legal goings on in the Grantham hospital at the time!!  Food for thought???  So our work began.  NEIL, as we fondly called him, started making great advances.  My job was to teach him to a high level in the sciences and the arts...and to try and make him a “good boy”.  I taught him about gravity and the breaking point of plastics, exhibited in the well-known case on Christmas day, 1974, when he sat on my brand new action man jeep with his fat nappy clad arse!!!  As you can see, we had a lot of work to do…the basic precepts of golf; i.e., hitting the ball towards the hole seemed to pass him by (golf photo), 

Birthday party

and then there  was his all-consuming desire to be centre of attention even when he had nothing specific to add to a conversation (birthday party).

School photo

We have a vintage recording of the problems the team came up against on this very topic of conversation (silly sausages tape ~ unable to get tape), but before long we started to get him on the rails…proper haircut, nice smile (photo neil school), we began to enjoy a relationship based on mutual respect, I believe.  Here, as a reminder, is a copy of one of the music classes I gave.  I felt it fundamental for the child to understand popular culture.  As you can see, he was quick with the local slang also.  Unable to get tape ~Shall we hear that again?  As I mentioned, we always had great mutual respect.  I taught him about trust by forcing him to lie length ways in front of a hastily constructed Evil Knieval ramp made out of a pile of bricks and a rotten bit of chip board while I tested his faith in family and life itself by proceeding to jump over him with his own BMX at speed...an excellent class that was!  Unfortunately, no photo documentation exists as my superiors would have frowned on such overt risk taking.  Another lesson in advanced physics springs to mind…the day he threw a dinky toy helicopter at my face and the sharp tail got lodged in my forehead.  You see every action has an equal and opposite reaction…the force needed to chuck the helicopter is equal to the screams of pain of the impaled victim…in this case, me.  Oh, how we laughed!  

Then there were the arts...here is an early example of Neil’s line drawing from an early Easter card (photo Neil’s art Easter), and, of course, prose and poetry were not far behind, although the concept of poetry that rhymed was obviously beneath him.  He went straight to some weird abstract contemporary poetry (photo Neil’s prose). 
The prose is "There once was a chick which had a mother  The mother went smiwing with the baby chick then the baby chick got lost so the baby chick went to a plioceman"  "Hope you have a happy Easter To Mum and Dad Love from Neil" 

I also taught the boy how to dress properly, by example, as seen in this archive photo (adam ant photo).  Neil was a kind of Marco Perroni to my Adam Ant at this stage...a kind of annoying second class disciple of my own excellence.  But...all was about to change.  At the tender age of 16, the boy left the bosom of home life for the dangerous world of further education in the grand metropolis which is Lincoln.  It was a risky business as we obviously couldn’t be in such close control of the specimen.  However, amongst our nerves a small miracle happened.  I remember it specifically on a visit to Lincoln one day where he was studying at art school.  Up until that I’d never felt that I’d been surpassed by my “brother’s” talents.  But this was amazing.  Obviously his time in Lincoln was very well spent and I was astounded to discover this innate talent that the boy had found within himself, possibly suggesting a successful future in that field.  Yes, I remember that day happily as I related my experiences to my associates...that Neil was really, really,….really excellent at playing darts.  Now quite where he practiced this talent is unknown.  There was no dart board in his flat...and on further investigation, apparently the college didn’t give classes in that particular sport.  One can only conclude that he had found another secret location where his extraordinary gift could be honed???  But, to this day, the whereabouts of that establishment remains a mystery.  

HOWEVER, this being the early nineties, we were in deep recession and work for dart players was somewhat scarce (photo of Neil grumpy).  

So, after trying his hand at taxi driving, shoemaking (with specific expertise in clogs, as I remember) and also radical experiments in the profession of hair dying (photo Christmas bow tie), 

he was forced to give up his dream and settle for a normal job as a poor graphic designer (photo serious job).  Here we have some early examples of his freelance work for Barrowby Village Council (photos of Grantham Gazette).  

It gives a brief insight to the mind of the young man, with school uniforms he says (and I quote), “I think school uniforms should be worn at all times nessacary.  For instants on a school trip or outing where people of the public and foreigners will see you.”  He goes on to say, “I think pupils should PAY for not wearing school uniforms and then the full amount can go to something in need of repair on your school”.  As you can see, an entrepreneur from an early age!  The money making theme continues on the cookery page for some reason.  

On the subject of making pocket money...”some people write children’s stories and record them on cassette, then lend them out to family and friends for a small fee...others ring bells for a certain occasion at their local church and charge, say...25 pence for every wedding”.  As you can see today, there were no bells and Neil has indeed saved that 25 pence.  

Neil’s liberal and easy going nature is clear in this coverage of the National Union of Teachers strikes back in the 80’s…“I’m not sure how much the teachers at the Grantham Central School get paid, but I am sure they don’t work enough to have earned a raise.”  Do we have any teachers here with us tonight???  You may want to approach Neil on the subject later on. 

My personal favourite, I’ve saved till last.  This really shows the attitude that made Britain great...thinking out of the box with concise methods to save on family economy.  You may want to take these lessons home with you in these tough times of world recession.  I quote again the master, “We’ve written down ways of saving money or just not spending it so much.  The first way is not to have a holiday!  Instead just do some gardening...or if it comes to the worst and you haven’t got a job or retired, etc. then why not build yourself an Atlantic Ocean replica model exactly to scale in your back garden.  OK!  Maybe you have not got the room.  I’m sure someone would sell you a piece of land on the cheap!”  There you have it...in a nutshell...the world is in the state it is because we have a shortage of seafaring ship replicas in our back gardens!  Now, most of you know about Neil’s passion for fast cars and shiny chrome, and I don’t want to spend too much time here explaining his lust for performance, high quality detail and unfaltering, if indeed, a tad repetitive, perfectionism in his ground up builds.  

Sufice to say, we are all in awe of the boy’s patience, so here’s an image I think which encompasses all that he has learned over his 20 or so years, building classic American muscle cars (C5 pic), but it’s not all been good news.  Now as you all know Neil lives down in the big smoke where it is very difficult for my stylistic influence to reach him.  He was heading off the tracks again, I was sorry to say, and getting in with a rough London crowd. 

It started to be obvious to me that Neil was trying to go all gangster and wild boy on us.  It was all bling, sub woofers and shell suits for awhile (photo shell suit), 

which is where the heroine of our story steps in to save the day...Rebecca Goode...the princess on a white steed, luckily came charging in to rescue our poor knight, who was floundering with his fashion sense in a big way (photo of betty on horse).  SO!  You must be wondering, why today?  Why is it that today all these national secrets can be legally divulged on you, the unsuspecting audience. 

Well, in my original contract from 1972, it stated that I was obliged to be primary carer until such a time as either (1) my sanity and clarity of vision was impaired; (2) another carer with sufficient qualifications could be found/forced/tricked into taking on the job; and/or (3) the project was declared a success if the specimen fell in love (B and N on sofa).  

Now in this case, in a kind of triple convergence of the planets, all three of the clauses can be brought into effect.  (1)  clearly I am clinically insane and cannot proceed; (2) Betty has offered, of her own free will, her services as primary carer, no money, drugs or alcohol were involved in the decision...allegedly (well, maybe a drop or three of whiskey..eh?  and gin…oh, and some rum and brandy, no?  but, apart from that, absolutely nothing!!!!), and(3) more importantly Neil has fallen in love, thus proving the project has worked and that I am free.  So, on that bombshell (always wanted to say that), I hereby raise a toast to the new primary carer in Neil’s life, codename Betty!!! (photo Neil and Betty).  Hurray.  Long may you retain your sanity, my dear….and Neil, thank you for being such an excellent case study, Brother!!